![]() They sing the song “Honour to Us All” which is great, it advances the plot, tells us a lot about Mulan as a character, and is pretty catchy. It turns out Mulan has to go meet a matchmaker and is late as she took too long doing her chores (if that was her taking long, I can’t imagine how quickly she normally does them). Also did you know Mulan’s dog is named “Little Brother” which was probably because Mulan had a little brother in the original story. I know this is meant to show us how intelligent she is and it does lead to some pretty funny moments, but in reality it would have been easier for her to have fed the chickens herself than use a dog-powered contraption. She puts a bone on a stick and attaches that to her dog whilst also attaching an open sack of chicken feed to the dog so when he runs after the bone the chicken feed goes all over the floor for the chickens to eat. Her father Fa Zhou sits there and prays for his daughter only to start praying even more when her chores go awry. Mulan wakes up and does her chores in a pretty hilarious scene. We now meet the protagonist of the movie Fa Mulan. The Emperor decides that a man from every family needs to be conscripted into the army (come on Disney, if you made him single-handedly defeat Shan Yu and the Huns then maybe you could have opened Disneyland China a bit earlier). Here we also meet Chi-Fu the advisor of the Emperor. All you’ve got to do to make millions is suck China’s dick and not include any gay or black characters. We cut to the Emperor of China, who is presented as some wise heroic leader, undoubtedly to please the Chinese government, Mulan was made partly to restore China’s faith in Disney so they could get some of that sweet Chinese box office money. They scale the Great Wall of China and the “now all of China knows your here” meme that was used when talking about Huawei phones plays out. We start with the villain Shan Yu and his Hun army (they should be known as his hunnies) getting ready to invade China. So without further ado, let’s get on with the review (hey that rhymed). I think it just flows better, and you guys don’t need a 4000-word plot summary on a movie you’ve probably already seen. The plot summaries are going to be shorter, and I’m going to talk about most of my thoughts on the movie after the summary. ![]() ![]() I’ve decided to start writing these reviews slightly differently. What else could you ask for? So, let’s have a look at Mulan. Great characters, an intimidating villain, humour, gorgeous visuals, and plenty of heart. Maybe not the best, I’d still have to give that to The Lion King. Am I the only person who thinks Mulan is a borderline-masterpiece? Most people do like the movie, but at this point in the marathon it’s my favourite Disney classic.
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